Dancing.

Dancing through life, skimming the surface..

This morning I went and paid a visit to the eye doctor, yayyy! It's been a while since my last check-up, and since I'm the only one in my family that doesn't wear glasses or contacts, we decided it be a good idea to get my eyes checked out. Sure enough, I am not the odd one out anymore. I still have the best vision out of the five of us, but now I need glasses.
So, I chose a pretty pair, and I can pick them up next week. I'm kinda or glad, actually. My eyes won't get so tired anymore. They're really tired right now, though. My pupils are really dilated, and even though it's getting better, things are still fuzzy. It's a nice day out today, too, so I'm hiding behind sunglasses, and I'm inside right now! It's just a rare enough nice day that I can't stand to leave my window shut and the blinds closed.

Tired eyes, tired eyes.

It's finally friday! I'm really excited. I'm meeting up with Calvin after he gets off work and then we're going to go to a show at Easy Street Records. The Diablotones, with Get Down Moses and Rude Tuna. <3

Uhm, rehearsal tomorrow. At NINE! Crap, I actually have to get up at a reasonable time. And do some costume stuff. My mom's going to be working doubles for the next couple of days, so it's going to be me on my own for a while on the costume front. So much to do!


I'm going to go sort of watch a movie until my eyes go back to normal. It feel wierd, having achey eyes.

Bride.

And leave you, leave you here stripped bare.

For some reason I have a desire to hack off my hair. But I know that if I do, I'll hate it about halfway through. I should just hide my scissors and wait for Mykee to do it for me. That's probably the best plan. Yeahhh...

Hmm. I had a nice long conversation with Laura today. It was a good thing that we had it. Answered some questions, mine and someone else's. I hate having to ask someone something awkward for someone else. But I guess it's a good thing that I did. Now we know.

Skipping out on the jazz festival this weekend. I'd like to be able to do it, but I really just don't have the time or the energy for it. Might as well leave myself time to do costume stuff. Be productive this weekend.

Going to a show on Friday with Calvin! And maybe Ashlyn? I'm not sure yet, actually. But I'm excited to go. It's been a while since I've been to a ska show, and I've actually never been to Easy Street Records. The Diablotones, Rude Tuna, and Get Down Moses. Should be good. I'm not sure if I can go to the Natalie Wouldn't show next week, which makes me sad, but we're still on for Chaosapalooza at Studio Seven, so that's good. I still think Studio Seven is shady as all hell, though.


Kaz-ba tomorrow. Work after. Probably some costume prep stuff before either of those, since I don't have class. Or maybe I'll finally catch up in Jazz Hist? That might be good. Maybe. And then Friday! Display and Costume, costume work time, then meeting up before the show. Yay!







Goodnight.

Gratitude: Molasses

Today I am grateful for:
Silence
Awkward, funny moments with friends
Kyle Eddy being a pirate! And a sweetheart
Visits at work
Forrest, for making me feel like superwoman today
Kristen, for sharing her curry with me today <3
Plans
Forgiveness
Emma and the girls and bubble tea
Basses
Dan, again
Timmy, for reminding me that I'm a dork.




So, I can't keep my plans straight. Please feel free to skip this, because I just need to try and list everything and figure out life for the next week or so. Or two. Thank you.

Wednesday, Feb. 25th
Get BAF shipment!
School
Jazz fest, right after Symphonic
Work, after 6
Costume time

Thursday, Feb. 26th
Jazz fest, 7 am
Kaz-ba
Work

Friday, Feb. 27th
Jazz fest, 7 am
Display and Costume
Diablotones show with Calvin (Ashlyn?), 8pm

Saturday, Feb 28th
Rehearsal, 9-3
Jazz fest teardown

Sunday, March 1st
Church
Costumes
NET
Vespers

Monday, March 2nd
School
Work
Music Team
Coffee Time w/ Calvin
ZOE

Tuesday, March 3rd
School
Kaz-ba
Rehearsal
Costumes

Wednesday, March 4th
School
Work
ZIMA

Thursday, March 5th
School
Kazba
Work
Natalie Wouldn't Show/Ashlyn's musical/Kyle's one acts

Friday, March 6th
Costumes
Ashlyn's musical/Kyle's one-acts. 7pm

Saturday, March 7th
Chaospalooza, 1:30. Calvin and Ashlyn
Kazba

Sunday, March 8th
Church
SLT Meeting
NET
Compline! Finally.


Too much to do. I don't know if I can keep it all straight.

Gratitude: Fly

I'm a fly, I'll die tomorrow, so give me all you've got.



Sara sort of inspired me with her Gratitude journal. It's a good idea, to remind you to be thankful. So I'm going to do it, but since i don't feel like making a seperate journal, I'll just put it in this one and mark the titles. Like.... my usual song thing, but with Gratitude in front of it.

Things I was grateful for on Monday (23rd):
My job (and the extra work for more money this week)
Clean floors (but not the sore back that comes from making dirty floors clean)
Dan
Calvin
Chelsea
Emma
Ashlyn
The chance to do so many costumes for the dinner theater
Rehearsal tomorrow, and two new parts of the script
Gummy frogs, and all the things that go with them :)
Music Team - when we get along and don't want to kill each other
Coffee time with a good friend
Routines
My ZOE group, whether they listen to me or not
Getting away with things that I probably shouldn't have done
Having conversations with Timmy again
Comfy sweatshirts
My mother not knowing about my septum piercing
Belonging.

Her.

I've been really unhappy with my life lately. Which is wierd, because I've had a few REALLY good days in a row, but one little thing will ruin it for me. And then it's like the good mood I've built up is just gone. I don't like that.

I've decided I don't like hiding things from my mom. And yet I can't bring myself to tell her any of the things that I've omitted or downright lied about. Omitted? Smoking. Septum. Drinking. Lied? School. School. School. I don't like it. But to tell her and then see how dissappointed she'll really be... I can't do it. I'm a wuss, maybe.

I've been smoking a lot lately. It's a stress thing for me, and I've just been needing one more and more lately. I smoked so much this weekend! And I hate that I have to leave work to do it since I'm not allowed to smoke there. Breaking rules, breaking rules. What a good example you turned out to be.


On the plus side, I've seen my best friend a lot this week. Hung out with him a lot. But I know I'm just getting my hopes up because he's been off school this week, and when he goes back tomorrow it'll mean he'll have less time to spend with me. Because even though our schedules are a bit more on line than they used to be (seeing each other 3 or 4 times a week instead of the usual 2), it hardly means anything because we're always doing something. Meetings, rehearsals, NET, kaz-ba. Does that even count? Do those days mean anything at all. Maybe I should just count the days that we usually get to hang out during the week. Uhhh, 1. And then we're on a time limit. Peachy.



I really want to stop lying about school. I want to drop out and work full time, simple and plain. I only enjoy choir and my music classes, and with the way I've been feeling lately, I don't even want to go to those. Does it mean something's wrong, or am I being realistic?
God, sometimes I feel so alone. No one knows every little thing about me. People don't catch it when I lie about my life, or omit things that happen, or things that I do.

"Mia, how are you?"
"Well, I feel like going home and sleeping and smoking and not eating for days so I don't have to be around people and can do whatever the hell I want without being told I'm not allowed or that I have to do something. "
"...oh, that's nice."







How much of that did you see coming? Did you know enough to not be surprised by anything?
This is so ranty and bitchy and downright WHINY. But screw that. I get to, every once and a while.

With.

I think I fiiiiiinally know everything that I'm making for costumes this year. Hopefully people don't surprise me last minute. Alterations, sure, but not whole pieces.
Too bad there are still four people who haven't even thought about theirs yet. We will see.


Two dresses, a vest, two shirts, trousers, a cloak, a mermaid's tail, and possibly a gorilla suit.
Sweet.

Pirates, castaways, and a mermaid, oh my.

I'm going to Nickie's tomorrow! I miss my bestie so much, I haven't seen her in a while. Her wedding is in two months! This scares me a little. It's like the dinner theater, closer than I want, probably not enough time to do all we need to do.

Septum's healing nicely, I believe. I really want the cleanser that's supposedly in the mail. Hopefully it shows up tomorrow before I leave for Nickie's, since I won't be home until early Sunday morning (Saturday night?) and I want it if I'm going to be away from my normal household routines. Mainly because I can't go and wash my hands as often at their house since their dog is NUTS and barks at me everytime I go upstairs. My helix needs that cleanser, too. It's angry at me.

Hmm. Really, this is another post with no real meaning. Just something to keep my thoughts straight. I think I'm going to finally watch my movie now.

Middle.

I got it done! My retainer's so cute, it's teal.
Maybe I'll put up the picture Ana took when I get it.

Except Calvin made a fuss, so I had to flip it down in front of everyone, so it's not exactly a secret. Something bad's going to come from that.

Haha, Drew told me I have to be careful about eating from subway, because apparently he got his caught in his bread when he tried to eat his sandwich.




Holly was my Valentine yesterday. :] It was cute, we went to Edmonds beach and watched the sunset. It was so pretty.
Uhm, good day with Holly yesterday, good day with Ana today, hopefully a good day with Patti tomorrow? And definately going to be a good day when Ashlyn visits me at school on Tuesday!


Last thing. You're a jerk.

Young.

Life's been quiet. Maybe it's just because yesterday was my day off, and maybe it's because I'm enjoying having the house all to myself today. It's so nice to have the house quiet [no tv blaring in the other room, no father playing his guitar and singing as loud as he can, no sounds of WOW from both of my brothers' bedrooms] and actually be able to come out of my room without getting a killer headache from all the noise. I hope I'll have days like this more often once I get my own apartment. Well, not my own, because I'll have a roommate, but you know what I mean.

Plus it's nice not to be yelled at. That too.



I'm bouncing around a little, knowing that tomorrow afternoon I'll finally be getting it done. I'm excited for it, but also a little teensy bit afraid. My friend was telling me about some horror stories from 'safetypin' piercers, the ones who pierce themselves or others in bathrooms and such with nothing more than a dirty safetypin and some ice. And of course, my friend had to tell me about the stories involving the one I'm going to get, so I'm a little afraid. But I trust Mitch to do a good job, especially since the last time I was there he ranted about how he wanted to go after the safetypin piercers and break their hands with a hammer for being stupid and unsafe. Besides, I'll have Ana to hold my hand. :]


I'm going to go chill with Holly today! We're going to the mall, which is good, 'cause I need some o-rings. These glass plugs slip out in my sleep sometimes because there isn't anything holding them on in the back and I move around a lot. Maybe I'll pick up a new pair, too? We'll see. Maybe we'll go somewhere else today, too. We were talking about the beach.

I feel a little wierd. I have a pill in my pocket that I have to take at 4, but I didn't want to carry around the whole bottle, and I don't like carrying them unmarked or whatever. I suppose it's in my favor that the name is printed on them?
Still, I feel a little guilty anyways. I feel like a drug supplier or something.






I'm not sure if there was a point to all of this. Maybe. But it's almost time for me to go, so I will.

Eyes.

It makes me feel wierd when popularity ebbs and flows. It pretty much does what it wants. I've never been the most popular girl around, but all this attention lately is making me feel... odd. Like people only want to be around me when they have free time they don't know what to do with. Example: this weekend, when a lot of kids are on thier midwinter break. In the space of a day, people claimed my time for the five (or more) days they have off.
And yet I spent most of my summer break alone because no one wanted to hang out with me? What's so different that I'm more appealing now?

Except, of course, to the people I really want to see - my best friends. Patti, I haven't seen in over a month. Nickie, about the same. And of course there's that other one, who I see all the time, but we never really get to spend time together. Or is it just that we can't seem to do anything out of our normal routine? Man, if only. I love Ana, and I'm so glad she's going with me on Sunday, but it wasn't the original plan. Oh well. She'll be a better support for this anyway. She's done it.


Real life?
I've fucked up, but shhh, no one's supposed to know. Soon enough it'll all be very apparent to the people it will bother the most.


Other than that, life's just peachy.
My silver pieces for my costume came today. I am in love with them.

Tell.

Did you know that I hate sneezing?
I can feel it all the way down through my chest when I do. And I don't get the cute sneezes. No, I get the "Oh my God, I think my brain just came out through my nose" sneezes.

Can you tell that I'm sick?



Uhm, today... today...
Today was Monday! I went to school, I made music, I worked, I made music, I worked, I got coffee and went to the bookstore. I beat up on my best friend with a book because he would not stop making "That's what she said" jokes. [Note: He was WARNED. "I swear, one more, and I'm going to hit you." Blah blah blah "...that's what she said." "I'm going to kill you, Calvin. *smack*"] I went to the mall? I watched my friend buy new plugs and tapers, I went home.

Apparently I'm really good at setting myself up for Calvin to make those jokes. Like when we were walking through the parking lot at the college and I commented on how the new dorms were bigger than I thought.
...that's what she said.



Ahahaha, I really don't think those are all that funny. >>;
Maybe it's because it's his new trend? Three days STRAIGHT. And more tomorrow, I'm sure.

Uhm, this is really pointless. But I'm bored. So I'm typing what I'm thinking.
For example. "OH MY GOD, PAYCHECK IN MY POCKETTTT."







...yeah. Goodnight.

FBI

(She's always smokin' a Lucky Strike, I wanna go out with her. Oh, ridin' round town on my motorbike, I wanna go out with her. But she won't date me and I know why, she knows I'm workin' for the FBI!)

Presto-chango, the costume plan has changed. It's early on, though, so it's okay.

We went craftstore hunting today, and my mom and I came up with some pretty maroon-y linen for my cloak, with a white muslin to line it. It'll look so good with the silver clasp I found! And seeing as most patterns are made for someone who is 5'6, I shouldn't have to shorten it since I wanted it... well, not floor length. Calf length.
It'll be so B.A. (Why did I just say that? Bad Mia!)
We picked up all the neccessary patterns for the costumes. My mother does not trust me to make the gorilla suit without a pattern, so now I have one. I suppose I wouldn't trust me either, since the fake fur is $15 a yard. And yet she trusts me to improvise the mermaid tail?

I'm going to find out on Tuesday who all needs help with their costumes. It's a cast of seventeen, and already my mom and I have a list of five definates, with at least three possibles. Thankfully I'm planning on making the gorilla suit next weekend, so that'll be done and good.


Boots? Apparently I found a good site for the cast to get their boots from. I have to show that off on Tuesday, too. Maybe we can do one giant order, like we are with the swords. BTW, swords are easier to decide on than costumes. Almost everyone has a sword picked, and yet they have no idea for their costumes. Sweet.

Costume plans:
-My costume (Cloak, tunic, trousers, boots, belt, [kerchif? maybe])
-Mermaid (Tail, modest top?) If it has to be modest, I might as well make a bodice, instead of trying to make a skintoned shirt to put under the standard bra.
- Gorilla (suit, gloves, furry spats!)
- Pirate shirt
-Pirate vest



I'm so excited for our first real rehearsal of the year on Tuesday! I will be a happpppyyyyy Mia!

Calling.

I am impatient. Er, I have been impatient lately.
I really want my paycheck (and some of my best friend's free time) so I can go get a needle stuck in me. :)
Or... my tax refund. Yeah, I could use that for it too.


I am also impatient for the dinner theater! I am so excited for these costumes!


Gorilla, mermaid, viking queen, Josiah's cloak...
<3

Follow.

I want to be at compline right now. This kinda sucks. I understand, but I hate it.

PS - Biggest pet peeve is people ditching me or cancelling last minute. Or even worse, forgetting about me or our plans together. Doesn't make you feel good, y'know? Especially when you have some issues similar to mine.





Scary thing I learned today : Josh says I'm not allowed to leave next year. Honestly, I think that is THE worst way to get someone to stay, telling them that they don't have a choice.

OTHER scary thing I learned today : Josiah can drag me down the hall. And he remembers things. NOT NICE.