freeze.

some things that people do just make me smile. today was a good day for it.

"cookies!"


"do you want to hold hands?"
"uhh, sure."


"i can tell austin you need a date to prom. really."
"oh my god, simon."


"i'm a leprechaun."


"put in me!"
"that's NOT what she said!"
"put it in meeeee~!"


by the way, ego boost when i bring cookies. the ladro kids do it best, though. =]

scandalous.

i'm scared. too scared to go to work, too scared to get any farther than my front walk if i try to leave my house on my own. wierd things happen for no apparent reason, it seems. i've blacked out atleast four times since yesterday afternoon, and i'm absolutely terrified because i have no idea why and i've been alone most of the time since it started.
i didn't go to work today because i was afraid of passing out on the bus, or worse, on the side of the street.

i hate being scared like this. i spent half an hour sitting on my front steps yesterday waiting for my mom to come home after the first time it happened.
i spent all that time wishing a few certain people would be there with me so i wouldn't be alone, so i wouldn't be afraid of blacking out with no one around. especially those who were mad at me or just too far away.


it's amazing how something like that makes you value people.
so to everyone who i wished was there with me, i love you.
doesn't matter if we've had arguments, or if we just keep coming back to each other over and over again, i love you.

dragonfly.

i made two batches of cupcakes last night.
i wish i had thought to make cookies too, my mood was not improved enough.

we'll have to see how it is when people eat what i've made. maybe it's time to make something really fancy, something that takes some thought rather than cupcakes or cookies.


i miss kyle. going to see bbvd was such an awesome day, i wish both of us actually had the time to do that. and i also miss him as Stubbs. :) best part.
atleast i have a cd for him that he'll love because it's fantastic!




i just feel like the present lady lately. anyone else want one?

mockingbird.

so, i have this friend. and this friend deserves a present, so i'm putting together one for him.
and i have some really good things to put in there, but i also want to toss in a surprise, except i haven't thought of a good one yet. which is a little bit of a dilemma because i was hoping to send it off to him in the next few days.

it's a challenge.
but it'll be awesome, because it's from me, right?
right.


and i just realized that i only have this fool's school address, so he better text me with a different one soon, since said present will probably arrive after finals are over.



iiiiin other news;
i feel accomplished. i made two rad shirts for ivan, and the compliments on them today boosted my ego about 539723 points. poor kid's sick, but atleast people are jeallous of his clothes.
i didn't think i would, but i miss the dinner theater a lot right now. even though there were a lot of cliques and short tempers this year, i still miss it.
and the lack of ZOE and ZIMA. the coaches and the kids were awesome.



i don't know what else to say, so i'll stop.
loves, and all that good stuff.
:)

starstruck.

Life is going better. Some good things back in my life, some new good things appearing. Some things going the way they should and making life better.
The dinner theater opens on Friday. We're cutting it close, but my mom and I have almost finished all of the costumes. So stressful! Let's hope that everything comes together. I'll put up some pictures soon.


I proposed to Laura yesterday. ;) Stealing my bestie's girlfriend.
'Cause she said yes.

cheval.

Ohhhh my!

So, I've really been needing to bake something lately. I stress bake, and since I didn't have the needed ingredients on Monday, I'm finally baking today! I've already filled three containers with oatmeal scotchies. I love making those cookies! And everyone else loves eating them, so it's a win-win situation.

Hmm, I love being in the kitchen. I wish I could keep baking, but I ran out of vanilla, so I have to stop making cookies, and I really don't want to take the time to make a cake or something else. Too bad, I wanted to make sugar cookies too.


Oh well. Soon soon.
I had a stressful few days, but I've resolved most of the issues, so it's good. Life is good.


Loves.

baby.

Wow, almost a month since I've done anything more than read people's posts.
I should change that since I'm waiting for a text before I go to bed.

My life's gotten complicated. I got kicked out of my house for a few days, and even though I'm back there now, it's still tense and really hard to deal with. I've been staying out as long as possible so I can avoid my dad... as he ignores that I even exist. I'm worried about my living situation in the long term. We'll see where that goes. If all else fails, I can trek down to Arizona, right? [Actually, that sounds like a really good option at the moment.]

And you know what comes along with family problems... other issues!
One of the main side affects, for lack of a better term, is that food does not sound appealing at all. So I've barely eaten for the past week, and I think Calvin's starting to get upset at me since he's seen me eat a piece of toast, and that's about it. Yes, I have eaten more than that, but not much. My mom made me eat something when I got home today, and I felt so sick. And yet I have a strong urge to bake things. Cookie time?
Gotta love the benefits of stress baking.

But even though I'm having my issues, I'm still worried about a few other people. It kinda sucks.


Hum. Wedding's in less than two weeks, I'm kinda ready to get it over with; get one thing off of my to-do list this month. Atleast I have all of the things I need, Calvin now has a suit (after what seemed like DAYS at the mall), and everything's coming together pretty well as far as I can tell. I promise there will be pictures once I have them.
Play's the week after, need to do a freaking TON of costume work.

School's up in the air this quarter. I don't know if I'll actually be going or not, which scares me.



This is a fairly negative update. Sorry. <3